Langshire: “I’ve always thought the position of Harpy was kind of a fru-fru thing.” (notices everyone looking past him in horror, turns around, sees Rupert, the harpy right behind him) “Oh, hello.” (turns back around)
Alicia: “Where in Russia are you from?”
Charigos: “… Bork-istan.”
“My goons are going to destroy the whole city. If you tell me where the Chantry is then I will be sure that it is spared.”
“Oh ok, it’s at Bork and Bork.” (Revelations between Sybil and Nicholas Griffen.)
“I’d appreciate you not trying to steal my stuff while I’m in combat.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just so shiny.”
-Dave trying to swipe Elizabeth’s vitae infused jewelry during the fight with Vlad
Adriana to Christine(about David): He’s your Primogen? I’m so sorry my dear.
David: Whoever did this will pay.
Jason: Whoever did this will die.
Christine: You do realize that we’re Toreadors?
Ian: Uh, there’s a serious security problem in that large building over there and I need you to drive this van into it.
George as the driver of my van laden with explosives: What??!! What the hell you talkin’ bout? I ain’t drivin’ this thing in there! You out cha goddam mind?
Ian: No no I’ll be right behind you, trust me. There’s . . . .uhhhh, backup on its way. The guys inside need help. Now.
George: No fuckin’ way. What the hell you smokin’? They said they needed a driver, so here I am. I drive cars, I don’t fuckin’ crash them into shit. No fuckin’ way.
Ian: Well, shit. (at this point people begin leaving the conclave) uhhhh, look over there. ( I pull driver from van and twist the gas pedal to the floor. Problem is solved.)